Finally confessing her feelings to Samar, Anna stood there nervously, wondering how would Samar react to her words of love.
“You’re behaving like a child!”
“At least I’m not running away,” Anna countered.
Samar was now standing in front of her, her eyes aglow with a kind of fiery anger that Anna had never seen before – yet oddly enough, she was happy to see them. She was happy to see that the fight within Samar is still alive.
“I know it’s impossible to be here forever on the pretense of being with you. I also know that my jealousy would consume me eventually – I can’t stand you being with all those men, especially after what I had witnessed before.”
“Wait –,” Samar cut her off. “What do you mean you had witnessed before? What are you talking about?”
Realising her slip, Anna continued cautiously, knowing there’s no going back now that she had let that out. “During the first few days, I got lost on one occasion. I was walking around in the dark and well, I heard some noise that made me curious. I looked through one of the doors and saw you … with a man.”
“I see. Was that the reason why you became confused and curious as to why someone would want to work here?”
“It’s partially the reason. What I meant was,” Anna hurried on, wanting to stay off from that topic and return back to the issue in front of them. “Even though it hurts to see you with them, it hurts more when I think about being away from you. If you were to ask me if I’d rather share you than have none of you, then of course I’d be willing to share, regardless of the hurt.”
Stunned speechless, Samar simply stared at Anna, unsure what to reply to her.
“You’re still young…” Samar began but was cut off immediately.
“Please do not use that line on me. Yes, I’m younger than you – I recall you mentioned before that we’re six years apart in age – but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of thinking for myself.”
“That’s not what I was going to say. You’re still young; you’d find someone else eventually.”
“Why search again when I already found the one that I truly love?”
“You’ve been reading too much of Karmen’s manga.” Samar said dryly.
“Perhaps – but let me ask you this; you left your family because they were forcing you to do something that you didn’t want to do for the second time. What makes you think I’d be happy with my family after everything that Patrick had informed us? Aren’t they the reason why I’m in such a predicament in the first place? How can I trust them, especially when I have no memory of them? Why do the rules differ for me?”
Well, she had a point.
“It’s not that it differs; as Patrick mentioned, they’re still looking for you – which means they care. Mine didn’t, even though they knew I left with Madam. They no longer cared; yours still does. As to whether you’ll be happy or not, I believe that is up to you. There was no guarantee that you’d be happy here as well, but look where we are today.”
“That’s because of you. I fell for you from the moment I met you – you know that. You’d be lying if you say you didn’t, Samar.”
Of course she knew. She couldn’t forget the way Anna had looked at her that night that they met; full of awe and warmth, as if they knew each other from before.
“You kept staring at me; big, round puppy eyes full of emotions. How could I have not known?” Samar asked, mortification making her voice sound low. A faint blush was making itself up her cheeks.
“For someone who’s ruthless and dominant at times, you’re pretty soft inside, aren’t you?” Anna teased her.
“I’m only such to people who managed to touch me.”
“That’s what I’m dying to do.”
“Anna!” Samar reproached her. “You know that wasn’t what I meant!”
Laughing, Anna tugged on her hands, pulling her onto the bed.
“You brute! Can’t you be a little gentle sometimes? Why must you be so rough and insisting?”
“Cause if I’m not, you’d find some kind of opening to run from me. I have to lock you up and not let you have any space to escape if I want to have my way with you,” Anna answered, her hands entwining around Samar’s waist tightly as she spoke.
“You asked me to be happy, to live happily. Well, I’m happy when I’m with you; let me repay you, Samar. Let me be with you.”
It felt good to be in her arms. Samar can’t remember the last time she felt both welcomed and safe in the presence of another; it was probably during her college years, when she was still in love with her ex. She wondered if it was okay for her to accept what Anna was offering. She felt that Anna was too young to understand the consequences of certain actions.
Some parts of her felt that Anna was only attracted to her out of gratitude as she had offered aid and presence when everyone else left Anna alone on the streets yet, another part of her was sure that Anna genuinely loved her. The look on Anna’s eyes was sometimes akin to that of a kid’s – aglow with a kind of innocent and pure love.
Giving in, she sought for Anna’s lips, claiming them possessively, as if it belonged to her. Stunned by the sudden change of behaviour, Anna felt a surge of pleasure within her as their lips mated. Accepting what was being offered, both of them refused to think past what was happening in front of them; they refused to think beyond what they were experiencing. At that moment, everything else simply faded, evaporated – all that remained were the two hungry beings, wrapped in each other’s arms.
All the kisses previously had heat in them; both times, they were desperate for the other’s touch, the other’s body; this time however, they weren’t after anything. Both wanted to give – to soothe the other, to heal the other, to simply offer what they felt for the other. Both wanted to give; neither of them wanted to take.
Kissing her with a kind of softness that she didn’t know she possessed, Samar could feel the hardness within her slowly slipping away. What was previously hardened by betrayal and hurt was now slowly melting into a puddle of mush – all from the kiss that they were still sharing. Swelling within with the love that she had yet to profess possessing, Samar gently rolled Anna onto her back.
“If you want me to stop, let me know – alright?”
Nodding, Anna bit her lips as Samar swooped down to meet hers once again. Using her tongue, her teeth, and her hands, Samar sent heat coursing through every inch of her body. Slowly moving along her jawline, Samar gently nipped at Anna’s ears, causing her to jump a little at her suddenness. Sucking her earlobe as she moved downwards, Samar left small traces of kisses before settling on Anna’s neck. She lifted her eyes to gauge Anna’s reaction as she bit Anna’s neck not-too-softly, causing her to gasp in shock.
“What the… What are you…” her words were lost as Samar continued her assault on Anna’s neck. Small, reddish marks were already making itself known on Anna’s neck yet Samar was relentless in her exploration of Anna’s body. There was just something about Anna’s neck – the unique taste of her – that keeps pulling her back for another nip.
“I’m a biter, to be honest. I’d probably leave a lot of marks on you when I’m done. They’re gonna think that I had abused you or something like that,” Samar remarked as she bit lightly on Anna’s throat.
Swallowing a little, Anna could feel the shape of Samar’s mouth and teeth as she worked on her throat yet even that small movement brought more pleasure than pain; in fact, the pain was so minimal that she could barely feel it.
“I don’t mind, Samar.” Putting her hand under Samar’s jaws, she lifted Samar’s face and brought it closer to her. “Leave all the marks you want on me; I’m yours after all.”
Kissing her as she said that, Anna didn’t realise that she had simply melted the last of Samar’s resistance. Trying desperately to calm herself so that she wouldn’t frighten Anna with her intensity, Samar hugged her tightly, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down a little.
She smiled at Anna as she lifted Anna’s t-shirt and tossed it away. The enticing body that she had strongly blocked from her mind the night she helped Anna to shower was now exposed – bare for her eyes to see. She was straddling Anna at the moment, yet she simply sat back a little, taking in the sight that was before her. She wouldn’t have termed it breath-taking; such clichés were beneath her, yet at that moment, no other words were forming in her mind. She was without a doubt breathless, robbed of the innocence that was radiating right before her eyes.
She knew the very instance when Anna started becoming bothered by her nakedness; her body was turning a deeper shade of scarlet as Samar’s gaze roamed over her body. Keeping her face turned away, Anna lifted her arms to cover herself but Samar stopped her immediately.
“Why are you hiding?” she asked.
“Lying naked … exposed.”
“Didn’t you say you want to touch me? This comes with that, you know. Plus, there’s nothing embarrassing about this. I think that you’re very beautiful, Anna.” She scrunched her eyebrows together when Anna shook her head to deny what Samar had just said. Firmly holding both of Anna’s hands at the sides, Samar leaned forward to kiss her once again.
“You are exquisite, my love.” She kissed her again. “Delightful.” And again. “Alluring.”
Anna was starting to feel drowsy with the taste of Samar intoxicating her, making her feel delirious. Noticing the heavy look on her eyes, Samar smiled at her teasingly.
“Are you at your limits already? I’ve barely started, you know!”
Releasing Anna’s hands, she began tugging at Anna’s pants – removing them swiftly as she moved to stand at the side of the bed to ensure that her body didn’t touch Anna’s legs – not just yet. Even as she freed Anna’s legs from her tangled pants, Samar thought about her next move, before deciding to remove her own clothes as well – she was sure she was going to be occupied for the whole night.
Watching Samar’s movements, Anna couldn’t help but feel her cheeks heat up. She had seen Samar’s body before, though that was while she was still in the haze of the fever that she had then. Seeing Samar’s naked body up-close, knowing that soon she’d have her hands all over it, filled her with a kind of anticipation that she had never experienced before. She felt something building within her – something rising, taking hold of her – it was making the anticipation grow even stronger.
Realising that Anna’s eyes were roaming all over her, Samar purposely took off her clothes tantalisingly slow. She wanted Anna to see her – every inch of her. The desire that she could see burning in Anna’s eyes was the answer she needed to put all her doubts at bay. She knew what Anna wanted now; Anna wanted – no, Anna desired her.
And she wanted to fan the desire to grow stronger.